To find or not to find a Mistress (part 1)

Dear dark kinksters of mine,

After a very fun lunch I had last Wednesday with a subbie, a few, somewhat interesting subjects, were brought up. (And later on discussed with more details. You know who you are ;-) )

But I am always fascinated by the opinions and thoughts on this subject.
All of this is written from my own perspective, and seen in a way that I look at bdsm and the lifestyle.

"How to find a "good" Mistress"?

First of all I want to point out, that a D/s relationship is just like any other relationship in life. There needs to be a "click", a connection to start off.
Especially if the goal is to have a long term relationship this gets more important. Without a Dominant, there will be no submissive and the other way around.

Without jumping from part to part on this subject, the main thing will always be, that it has to do with the energy and effort you put in.
Often I hear subs complain

1. "There are no good Mistresses out there"
2. "They are all in the scene just for the money"
3. "All Mistresses can't even do a normal conversation"

Personally I like to think that I am a positive person, my view on life, the things I do etc. So it annoys me when people say things like the above.
1.What is a good Mistress for you? How much effort have you put in trying to find one? Just like any other dating/relationship, a good Mistress will not just magically appear in front of you one day, begging you to be her sub (read the sarcasm in this, since a Mistress should not be begging at all, grin).
What are you looking for in a Mistress? Do you even know your own kinks and fetishes? Do you know what kind of submissive or slave you are? Before going out there on the internet, papers and parties, these are some questions you should have an answer too. Are you still exploring? That is alright too, then THAT is the answer.

2. Yes, some of them are, and some of them aren't. Get over it and stop whining. There is a difference between whinning and sharing bad or past experiences. For some its a lifestyle, for some its a service, and for some its a mix of both. Just like some people like any other hobby and choose to make a living out of it, this is a hobby/lifestyle with benefits too.

3. Again, this also depends on the person. And on you.

There is nothing that irritates me more in the scene, than so called slaves who rudely send you a message with only "You're beautiful, I want to be owned by you". (Not even going into the subject what "owning" means)
This has nothing to do with being a Mistress, a domina, or being Superior. Even in vanilla life, I would not accept such behaviour.
It's really just common sense and manners. And especially looking at the dynamics, there's ought to be respect.
Yes, you will get treated respectfully too as a submissive, if you approuch someone in the right way.

Or of course, you want to be treated like dirt, that is a kink too, grin.

For the serious kinksters out there: enjoy the journey, try something you maybe haven't dont before. Go to a party, write a personal add, step out of your comfort zone and enjoy every bit of it.

~Submission is the biggest gift of all ~

Here I've written a part as a kinkster, as a Mistress, but mostly just as Me.

See you out there,

Strict spankings,

Soviet-Mercedes


www.SovietMercedes.com